i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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