who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
