i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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