Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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