Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
