You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
