The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I need moral support for this bender
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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