I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
