All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
We had sex on a dog bed..
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
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