Porn is love you can see.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
