so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
