They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
