Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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