What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
everyone is single if you try hard enough
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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