You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
