how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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