So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
