Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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