dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
