he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
