White coat. Heels.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
