so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
