It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
