You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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