u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
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