You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I just want nice things and good sex
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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