I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
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