'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
