he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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