your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Randomize
