i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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