A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
