I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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