they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
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