Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
