so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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