There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
