I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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