Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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