Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
