Three words: puerto rican gang bang
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
