my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Randomize
