The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
