He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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