Pappa wants mamma naked
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
