giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
