I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
