You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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