grandma shit on top of the toilet
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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