I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
