I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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