why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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