I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
